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Please help make these families’ holidays stronger, smarter, happier!

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activity_stationYou may be new to this event, or perhaps you’ve supported our efforts in past years. For seven years my family and more than a dozen of our friends have volunteered to help stage a holiday event for families of Head Start children. This year we’re serving more children than ever before … more than 140 3-to-4 year old boys and girls.

And every year we’ve provided an opportunity for people like you to donate to a cause that you’re absolutely certain will go directly to the people intended. It’s as if you were there yourself, helping families in a material way. That’s the sentiment that got my wife and me started in the first place. That first holiday season we decided that instead of just giving money blindly to a charity and hope it does some good, we’d provide hands-on service to people who are undeniably among the community’s most under-served. (To qualify for Head Start, we learned that a family of three could not have an annual household income exceeding $18,000!)

The photo above shows one of our volunteers working at that event’s more than one dozen activity stations. Each child is encouraged to go to each station. They get to decorate mini-cupcakes, face painting and a mini bowling game, where each child wins a small prize. This year we’re working on staging more of these than ever before — fifteen!

bagsBut the real help goes beyond and entertaining evening, and comes in other ways. Each family receives a hot meal. More than a dozen food baskets are raffled off. And the children all go home with a personalized bag stuffed with warm gloves, a fleece hat, a scarf, and educational toys and supplies. Below is a photo of these bags … we’ve been busy hand-lettering them over the Thanksgiving weekend.

What’s more, I’ve been sewing the hats (here’s what they look like), which are of a warm fleece that matches their scarves.

Won’t you help us? We can’t stage this event without the financial support of people like you. Please use the Donate button in the right column to give whatever you can, using any major credit card. And thank you!


What will the children do with all those rectangles? This and other Holiday Head Start questions answered

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IMG_20141214_180809_002Yesterday I posted this photo on Facebook, with the cryptic pronouncement that I wouldn’t stop working until 1,600 flannel rectangles were sewn together. I started in the morning, and didn’t stop until 10:30 last night. My friend Michele asked: “What will the children do with the fabric rectangles?” Good question — and a fascinating answer.

My rectangles and the others already sewn will be sorted and stuffed into mesh bags roughly the size of a pack of playing cards. They will create a matching game for the kids, to develop their short term memories and their motor skills.

Each child will get a set of 10 rectangles, and like a deck of cards, each of the 10 will have identical backings. But as you can see in the photo, the faces have varying patterns. Each set will have five pairs of matching patterns. When they are laid face down, and then the “cards” are revealed and hidden again, randomly, two at a time, the parent can challenge the child to remember where the pairs are hidden. Memory improves with practice.

I remember this as a game called Concentration:

concentration_game_ebay

Making those games is a lot of work. Each set requires a total of 20 three inch by four inch panels. That’s a total of 2,860 hand-cut and -sewn pieces of fabric. But my wife Sherry, a gifted educator, chose this game because it does these things:

  1. It is age appropriate
  2. It truly does develop young minds
  3. It invites — in fact, requires — participation by a parent or other adult

These three requirements make it one more really priceless item we’ll be stuffing into the kids’ goodies bags. The three requirements also go into the activity stations we have planned for the event. Which brings up another question we’ve gotten:

How many activity stations will the kids be visiting this year?

As the number of kids and their families has grown, so too have the number of activity stations. We started this event seven years ago, with five stations … This year there will be these 16 stations:

  1. Decorating Candy Canes
  2. Bean Bag Toss
  3. Bowling Game
  4. Brownie or Cookie Decorating
  5. Clothespin Magnets
  6. Face Painting
  7. Fuzzy Ornaments and Stickers
  8. Gingerbread Men
  9. Glitter Snowflakes
  10. Popsicle Stick Harmonicas
  11. Paint Stamp
  12. Making Paper Chains
  13. Pasta Necklace
  14. Tissue Cups
  15. Yarn Art
  16. Photo Booth

dad_and_sonThat last one is probably the most appreciated by the parents and other family members. It’s where I and four other volunteers photograph the kids and their families, then print the photos on the spot, so they have something to take home and cherish. Remember, these families are at an income level where anything as non-essential as a family portrait is probably out of the question! This is, of course, a sample from a prior year.

How many days until the event, and where are you in fundraising?

The short answer is too soon, and too little, for comfort! We have six days left before the event, and we’re still short by roughly $2,000.

It’s more important this year than ever before that you consider giving. You’ll be helping some of the least served families in Wisconsin, and you’ll know where every cent of your gift is going.

You’ll also know that you’ll be supporting the hard work of literally dozens of volunteers — not with any compensation, but with your vote of confidence that their work to help those less fortunate is a wonderful way to celebrate this holiday season.

Won’t you help? Use the link in the right column to donate using a major credit card. And thank you!!!

We’re doing one better this year than the food basket giveaway

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I’m excited to report that for the first time, we’re eliminating our drawing for food baskets … because we’ve giving one to every family who attends!

gift_baskets!In the past, I’ve felt like I was watching an episode of Oprah when we would draw the names for the dozen or so people who received a gift basket loaded with food and other household staples. Here’s a photo of one lucky mom claiming her prize.

Everyone Goes Home With Food

But this year, we’re going to arrive at the event with enough food basket ingredients to provide one full set for every family that attends. I say “ingredients” because we’re eliminating the basket itself. We can save a dollar per recipient if we provide this $25 collection of boxed and canned food items in a bag. Although it sounds better to talk about giving away food baskets, we know that it’s far, far better if everyone is a winner.

Now I’ll really feel like I’m watching an Oprah episode. You get food! And you get food. Everyone gets food!!

This is a little crazy of us, because this is the biggest group we’ll ever serve. But we have faith that our friends and supporters will come through. Please click on the Donate button in the upper right corner. A gift of just $25 will ensure that one more family can take home a bag with items like these:

  • Flour
  • Sugar
  • Beans
  • Canned Veggies and Fruit
  • Pasta
  • Peanut Butter

… and much more.

Will you help us feed these under-served children and their families this holiday season? Please donate now.

We fed 300 people and enriched the lives of 143 children and their families

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A Happy CelebrantToday is a work day for me, so I’ll be brief. Last night was the 2014 Holiday Head Start Event, and it was bigger and better than ever.

Not only did every single family that attended go home with a shopping bag brimming with food, but the dinner we served last night was to the largest group ever: 300 people packed into the dining room (we needed to add extra tables to accommodate them all!). It was incredible.

Everyone Took Home Groceries!I’ll post more photos when I get a chance, but for now, here is a taste … and also, a commercial:

If you have contributed, thank you! If you haven’t yet, you still can. And you should. Our balance sheet for last night is still not in the black, and we’re already planning on taking advantage of the after-Christmas sales to get much of what we’ll be using in December of 2015. Please use the link in the right column to contribute today. Any amount will be appreciated, and you will still feel the warm glow of doing some wonderful good this holiday season!

Example portraits from the 2014 Holiday event

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In some ways I had it easy, because during the flurry of activity that was the 2014 Head Start Holiday event, I was behind one of two color printers that were producing the family photos. I was well away from the fray — on the other side of the school building from the hectic dinner service, and across the hall from the gymnasium full of children’s play stations (this photo shows what they looked like, staffed by volunteers from a local high school, before the kids arrived).

Play Stations

But not only that, I got see the children in what was probably their most favorable light, as they stopped in to get their photos taken. Here is a sampling of the 81 sets of family pictures we took and printed that night. I hope you enjoy them.

IMG_8876 IMG_8875 IMG_8873 IMG_8871 IMG_8869 IMG_8865 IMG_8863 IMG_8862 IMG_8860 IMG_8858 IMG_8856 IMG_8855 IMG_8821 IMG_8819 IMG_8817 IMG_8813 IMG_8812 IMG_8810 IMG_8809 IMG_8784 IMG_8777 IMG_8775 IMG_8773 IMG_8765 IMG_8764 IMG_8737 IMG_8735 IMG_8733 IMG_8728 IMG_8726 IMG_8725 IMG_8724 IMG_8722 IMG_8721 IMG_8719 IMG_8718 IMG_8716 IMG_8715 IMG_8713 IMG_8712 IMG_8710 IMG_8708 IMG_8693 IMG_8692 IMG_8690 IMG_8689 IMG_8686 IMG_8684 IMG_8667 IMG_8666 desitinii2

These pictures mean so much to the families, and are yet another way you helped make these family’s holidays brighter. I say you, because if you contributed, you were right there with them. If you haven’t yet in 2014, you still can! We are still way behind in meeting our out-of-pocket expenses. We rely completely on your generosity. Won’t you help now? Use the link in the right column (at the top of this page). And thank you!

My most gutsy prediction yet: FMT will become commonplace

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Unappealing qualities: We all have them. I have more than my share. Among mine is a face that, let’s be real, only a mother could love. (Its stock consequently plummeted four years ago with the the passing of its biggest fan.) Another is my embrace of the discipline of economics. Scottish historian and essayist Thomas Carlyle had a point when he called the discipline the dismal science. But maybe my least appealing quality, in terms of lowering the odds of me ever being the center of a spirited, rollicking, truly legendary party, is my tendency to predict the future. Two example predictions from four years ago are these:

  1. Most Millennials will live to see a day when the world is dining on meat grown in a lab,
  2. 3-D printers will, a’la the Internet, revolutionize our lives while disrupting whole economic sectors
A rare selfie of the author just now, in his bathrobe

A rare selfie of the author just now, in his bathrobe

As unappealing as this amateur futurism is, I’m afraid it’s like my face. It’s not going to change. I might as well wave it like a flag. So here is my next, and possibly most, unappealing prediction:

In Five Years FMT Will Be Commonplace

The unappealing part of this prediction is the “F.” It stands for “fecal.” Here’s an explanation from a recent New Yorker article on the medical treatment:

No one knows how many people have undergone fecal transplants—the official term is fecal microbiota transplantation, or FMT — but the number is thought to be at least ten thousand and climbing rapidly. New research suggests that the microbes in our guts — and, consequently, in our stool — may play a role in conditions ranging from autoimmune disorders to allergies and obesity, and reports of recoveries by patients who, with or without the help of doctors, have received these bacteria-rich infusions have spurred demand for the procedure. A year and a half ago, a few dozen physicians in the United States offered FMT. Today, hundreds do.

I had first heard of this work a few years back, in an episode of RadioLab. Lately the stories have piled up — either specifically citing FMT or at least implying its possible efficacy:

If you’re like me, you feel there is a lot that’s unappetizing about FMT. It has a huge yuck factor. What I find even more off-putting, though, is that many of the stories I’ve found (I’ve only included the best) suggest the start of a meme that may quickly rise to Full Hype Status, raising expectations beyond anything that reality can meet. For completely different reasons, FMT’s yuck factor could be its undoing.

On the other hand, my lack of enthusiasm for dwelling in poo, so to speak, is overridden by a sense of hope. I’m encouraged that we may have arrived at a new paradigm for curing chronic disorders.

Medical science is horribly hidebound, and is forever slow to embrace new ideas. It took Dr. Barry Marshall two decades to fully convince the medical establishment that ulcers are caused, not by stress, but by an easily treated bacterial infection. This, even after he infected himself with the bug and triggering a bleeding ulcer.

What’s I’m seeing is encouraging because the discussions are so public, and this attention seems to be accelerating a break with status quo beliefs about the role of bacteria in human health. There is increasing, and increasingly positive, attention being paid to the critters within us. Or should I say, the critters who are primarily us. As a recent New York Times article put it, “We are only 10 percent human: for every human cell that is intrinsic to our body, there are about 10 resident microbes … To the extent that we are bearers of genetic information, more than 99 percent of it is [non-human genetic information].”

As odd as it sounds, it’s stories like this that make me wish I were a younger man, and more likely to witness what our world seems destined to become. Unless of course I’m wrong. Because like all futurists, amateur or professional, I’m really going to hate it if I’m wrong.

When I go to see my grandmother I gain a lot of weight

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The headline is just one of the wonderful lines from this lovely song by the idiosyncratic Greg Brown.

“You can taste a little of the summer. My grandma put it all in jars.”

Pied Beauty by Gerald Manley Hopkins

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GerardManleyHopkinsI recently found this poem, by Victorian poet Gerald Manly Hopkins. The bucolic imagery somehow seems appropriate for early Spring. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do:

Pied Beauty

Glory be to God for dappled things –
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced – fold, fallow, and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.


Many years later, a laser that does something

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When I was in the sixth grade, I got my hands on small fragments of a one-way mirror, and, following descriptions I read about in the encyclopedia set we had in our basement, I took other components (a glass rod, a wooden box and a light source), and built a working laser.

No, it didn’t do anything, except win me second place in my school’s science fair. But I thought it was cool anyway.

Too Cool

If I was that kid today, I would hope this is what I’d bring to the science fair. (Hey, they’d have to give me a first place ribbon, right?)

Possibly my favorite poem ever

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The last three lines of this are a bit of a mantra for me, something I try hard to ask myself when I get too hung up on details and nonsense.

The Summer Day

by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Warmth for children on a cold Midwestern night

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You may have just seen these photos posted on the Holiday Head Start site. As I write this, it is an extremely chilly November night with winds (if you’ll pardon the melodrama) literally howling outside the window. But sharing these with you makes me feel a little warmer, and a great deal better …

Warm Fleece Blanket Scarves, gloves and hats!

These photos show just some of the hand-made fleece blankets, scarves and hats that Holiday Head Start volunteers produced for last year’s event. One shows, sandwiched between the hats and scarves, the woven gloves we purchased to go with those hats and scarves.

Last year we made sure that each of the 140+ children in the Beloit Head Start program took home these items, plus much more. You can read more about what they and their families received here, and here.

Now we’re in the middle of raising the money for this year’s event. We expect to serve more under-served children and their families than ever before. Won’t you help?

Please consider supporting this important cause today!

Won’t you consider a gift for this Giving Tuesday?

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Won’t you consider a gift for this Giving Tuesday? featured image

Today’s headlines included news that Wisconsin’s food stamps rules would become tighter, just in time for the holidays. But I was more heartened by this news a groundswell of support for Give Tuesday:

Let’s take note: today is #GivingTuesday, the fourth anniversary of a day that offers a glimpse of the world beyond the pathological extremes: a view of the commonplace generosity and social concerns of millions of people.

If you’ve been waiting until after Thanksgiving to give to the Holiday Head Start event, please wait no longer. Use the link at the top of the right column to donate today. It will just take a minute, and the warm feelings of knowing you’re giving to a wonderful cause will last all month!

Friday’s Holiday Head Start event was another huge success!

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Now that the dust has settled on the event (or perhaps that’s glitter?) I am thrilled to tell our wonderful donors what they helped support.

Actually, I’m going to let Sherry, our co-leader along with her daughter Shannon, tell the story (I could not be there). I edited her email to spare you the inside football thoughts on the already-underway planning and work for next year’s event:

The evening was fantastic. The cafeteria was packed!

… Not only did [a volunteer new to our Photo Station producing family portraits on the spot] print them, he did all kinds of enhancements to them.

We had 19 stations for the kids. … Haven’t officially tallied numbers yet, but we are pretty sure that there were over 300 for dinner. And of the 137 Head Start students, at least 70 of them and their families came. Which is a great turn out.

You supported all of this, and allowed our roughly 60 event volunteers to make a lasting difference for under-served 3- and 4-year-olds and their families.

By the way, the tally on our Fundraising Site understates the level of donations. Although it reports roughly $1,500 raised, that does not take into account dollar-for-dollar matching gifts to the online tally, plus one generous $500 check that Sherry gratefully accepted offline from an anonymous donor.

That brings our fundraising tally to roughly $3,500, just short of our ambitious $4,000 goal!

If you donated, thank you so much. If you’re considering supporting our December 26 bargain shopping for children’s gifts and toys, you can still use the link in the right column.

The Art of Authorship

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I enjoy writing. And once every three months or so, like a familiar spasm that arrives out of the blue, I think about writing a book. A real book.

The book.

It’s the one I’ve been planning and constructing — and occasionally drafting — for the last seven years. If I complete it, it will be my first book.

Marie CorelliThat may never happen, and that doesn’t bother me. Well, much. But I will, when the spasm returns, sometimes read about writing, by real writers. It can take the form of rereading Anne Lamott’s wonderful Bird by Bird. Or visiting Maria Papova’s extraordinary Brain Pickings blog. This morning, it was reading the fascinating The Art of Authorship: Literary Reminiscences, Methods of Work, and Advice to Young Beginners, Personally Contributed by Leading Authors of the Day (1890). That link brings you to the long-out-of-print book in full, in digitized form, thanks to the Google Book Project.

Here’s an excerpt, by British novelist Marie Corelli, in a letter on the craft of writing, circa 1888:

I do not think it possible to ‘train’ anyone to be an author … [writing] is the outcome of the mind’s expression; and the questions I would ask of any would-be writer, are not ‘Have you studied the art?’ or, ‘Have you trained yourself?’ — no! — but ‘Have you a thought, and is it worth the telling?’ If so, declare it, simply and with fervour, regardless of what it may bring; write it as you would speak it, and if it has true value it will reach its mark.

If you’re like me, and have the inclination to think about writing more than actually do it (which is certainly no more Walter Mitty-ish than my friends who enjoy reading brochures on yachts with no intentions of buying one, or thumbing through seed catalogs instead of actually planting a garden), you could do worse than spend some time with The Art of Authorship.

 

Podcasts that helped me survive Election 2016

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It’s been a tough Presidential election season to get through. Especially if you’re like me, and you started following the proceedings early. I watched Biden decide not to run. And I witnessed sixteen GOP candidates get picked off, by one-by-one, by Trump, and in the process, watched the entire process debased to a level I couldn’t have imagined possible a year ago. Deeply depressing.

The key to my survival has been a handful of intelligent, well-informed, often extremely funny podcasts. I’ll list them for you now. Especially since, with the exception of this first one, they should all continue to reward listening once all of the votes are cast and Washington gridlock resumes in earnest.

Trumpcast

Slate's Trumpcast

Like several of in my list, this is produced by Slate. Host Jacob Weisberg talks all things Trump, as a way to help us all get through this national and international fever dream. Weisberg hasn’t released an episode in a while, but he vowed to continue releasing them until the scourge has passed. Let’s hope that’s November 9, when all election results are tallied.

Whistlestop

whistlestopThis podcast, now with a book by the same name, is by national journalism treasure John Dickerson. When he’s not writing for Slate or performing his new duties as host of Sunday’s Face the Nation, Dickerson is an engaging presidential election historian. His stories help us understand the reasons for some of our election traditions, and they remind us that things have been this loopy before in American history — although perhaps not since the days of John Adams, Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson.

Pod4Ham

Speaking of Hamilton, of course you knew I would mention that musical of the same name, written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, who until recently was also its star on the Broadway stage. Like Whistlestop, Pod4Ham scratches the itch for a broader election politics perspective, as it dissects the musical’s songs, one at a time, using as its basis the brilliant original cast recording.

True, it’s only for Hamilton fanatics like myself. That is, it’s for the sort of fanatic who gets excited about visiting Weehawken, New Jersey, because it’s the site of Hamilton’s fatal duel with Aaron Burr:

Running on the Hudson, listening to Hamilton cast album, in the city where Burr shot him

A photo posted by Jeff Larche (@jefflarche) on

A little more accessible than Pod4Ham is Miranda’s recent appearance on SNL, which aired just one day after the recording was released about Trump bragging to Billy Bush, on a television series motor home, about him kissing and groping women without their consent. The comedy is priceless, and it also shows Lin-Manuel’s mastery of lyrics:

Vox’s The Weeds

The wonderful Ezra Klein leads a panel discussing the latest in politics. This episode followed the final debate, and is true to its title. It truly gets into the weeds of issues, including Presidential election politics.

What podcasts have gotten you through this punishing chapter in election politics? I would invite you to leave a comment, but as you probably know, trolls love to flood blog comments. Best to suggest something to me here (until trolls spoil the party there as well).


How do I love thee, podcasts?

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How do I love thee, podcasts? Let me count the ways. I’ve come up with five, right off the top of my head. They span comedy, news and current events, design, music and even history.

Why Now? #TryPod

This month there is a push among podcasters I enjoy to encourage our friends to try a podcast, with the above hashtag. I’m glad they’re doing it.

Many or most folks who do not listen to podcasts just don’t realize was a wealth of (mostly) free entertainment and knowledge is waiting for them in their hip pocket. Come on. We all have commutes. Or routine work situations. Or dog walking rituals. We all have a time when we can listen to really good programming. Am I right? So why not give podcasts a try?

I usually recommend to newbies downloading an app called Stritcher, but there are many ways to pull down podcasts from the internet and get them in your ears.

Here’s my list of “starter” podcasts:

1. The Gist

I literally start my day with this one, nearly the moment my alarm goes off. The Gist is a roughly 25-minute podcast released every weekday. Host Mike Pesca is a phenomenon. He also has a pretty funny Twitter feed:

2. 99% Invisible

So you’re not into politics or current events, you say? Or over-educated whimsy? I still have plenty to offer in this podcast cornucopia. Here’s one that might suit your fancy: Ostensibly a podcast about design and architecture, 99% Invisible is really about much more. It’s about all of the hidden, human-made grace notes to our lives that we didn’t think we’d like to learn about. Until we did.

3. 2 Dope Queens

Demographically I am definitely not the audience for 2 Dope Queens. They’re black. I’m white. They’re Millennial women. Yeah, no. And they record this podcast in that distant, enchanted (or cursed?) land called Brooklyn. The queens what be dope are Jessica Williams, from the old Daily Show, and Phoebe Robinson, fellow stand-up comic and most recently, author of You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have To Explain. They record in front of a live audience, hosting a show of other stand-up comics, mostly of color. It’s a joyful, antic party into which I always feel honored to be allowed.

Their friendship is a major appeal of the show, and each episode is a much-needed lesson in not taking life too seriously. Oh, and did I mentioned it’s a production of WNYC? It’s an NPR program. I find this seriously hard to believe. In a good way.

4. Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History

This guy says he isn’t a “real” historian, but he has done the impossible by making history interesting and relevant to me. I came to Hardcore History late, with the Blueprint for Armageddon series. It was six episodes (if I remember correctly), each over three hours (!?). The subject: World War I. The episodes were absolutely riveting. I would walk for hours along my Chicago lakefront, taking in his stories and regretting when my walks had to end.

Now that’s entertainment.

5. Song Exploder

I’ve saved possibly the best for last. Song Exploder, by the man with one of the best names to pronounce in podcasting: Hrishikesh Hirway (just listen to him pronounce it every episode — it’s as musical as the subject matter!).

Every installment has Mr. Hirway showcase another song, and learn from the creator how the song was assembled. He’s covered songs by Jeff Tweedy and his band WILCO, mad genius behind The Magnetic Fields, and and the practically child prodigy behind Microphones, to name just three. I think my all time favorite was the dissection of this wonderful song by tUnE-yArDs (a.k.a. Merrill Garbus). Water Fountains is a case study in discovery through unbridled play.

I dare you not to be inspired.

On Progress and Pronouns

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This was originally posted on my local workplace’s Diversity blog. That post is behind a firewall.

The following rumination is given in the same spirit as the theatrical performance that inspired it: I recently saw Straight White Men, by the extremely gifted Young Jean Lee. It’s a comedy-drama about gender norms and expectations.

This trifle addresses a new use of pronouns to show respect for an individual’s … well … individuality. To put things in context, consider the word “parent.” As recently as a hundred years ago, parent in English-speaking cultures was a noun that meant not so much a sense of filial responsibility to a child but one of possession. A parent suggested a type of owner, in a way that no longer exists in the culture.

Child labor was common then. Supporting that norm, parent pretty much meant “boss of the child.” A parent could legally force a child to toil at great risk and harm, in the fields or the factory line. Today those norms have changed, and with them, the word. It even split in two: Parent is still a noun, but it’s also now a verb. “To parent” is assumed to mean bestowing something beneficial on a child. Even to very recent ancestors, upon finding a copy of Parenting magazine beamed to them from the future, this would be supremely baffling.

As you read below, please think of how language has changed with attitudes, and how it continues to change, arguably at an accelerated pace. As we strive to better understand the needs of previously voiceless groups … in our workplaces, our homes and social settings, keep in mind that it can be a bumpy ride, linguistically speaking. We can curse those bumps, or celebrate them. I invite you, dear reader, to relax and enjoy the ride. Take delight in our world’s growing richness and diversity.


The quite wonderful and thought-provoking Steppenwolf Theater production I saw opened with two cast members, who together announced to the audience the shared preference to be referred to with the non-cisgendered “they,” and its object pronoun form, “them.” They provided much to consider. And by they I don’t mean either one of them, although this is also true, but both. It’s unusual enough for someone like me to encounter one such soul. Two is a real night on the town.

Should you be wondering, there was no suggestion that they were a romantic couple. Not because one person cannot be a couple of any sort, romantic or otherwise, but because by using “they” just then I did not mean either of them but both.

You can see why this is interesting and yes, alarming. Two individuals in the same room who both prefer to be referred to using plural pronouns has increased linguistic complexity by the precise mathematical factor of O + M + G.

For example, when they are near each other at one of the inevitable cast parties, and by “they” of course I’m not implying that either of them can, on their own, be near themselves, but both. At the party. Together.

Let me start over.

It occurred to me that if one of them were to be referenced at said party as “them,” each would be compelled to turn, point, and say, “Do you mean me or them? Or us?” At which point I for one would need to excuse myself to freshen my drink.

Will this lead to a quota of just one they and them per social gathering? I sincerely hope not. They seemed quite charming, and by they I’m not singling one of them out, but merely saying each seemed like someone I would genuinely enjoy chatting with.

Just not together … Until I get it all, as it were, straight.

A Visit To The Web Wayback Machine

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You’ve got to love an internet project whose goal is to preserve in amber the many life stages of web pages from the web’s two-decade history. Currently the Web Wayback Machine boasts 286 billion web pages stored. (Its parent project, Archive.org, provides free streaming and downloads of tons of other media. I just got lost in it for 30 minutes, pausing quite a while at this excellent print of Fritz Lang’s film noir classic Scarlet Street.)

The Web Wayback Machine has some practical research applications. If a site you enjoy took down a page  you needed to refer back to, you very well may find it here. Or perhaps you want to see what the world of website search engines looked like 20 years ago, before Google came on the scene and gobbled market share with its exponentially better results:

Or you can see the technology, way back at the turn of the millennium, that Google eventually licensed from Overture / Yahoo Search Services once it claimed market dominance, thereby monetizing search results and turning a brilliant approach to searches into an obscenely profitable one.

You can do all of those things, but hey, if you are me, you’ll do the Wayback equivalent of self-googling. You’ll revisit the first design of your 10-year-old blog, Digital Solid. That site has been idle since I joined my current employer six years ago, but back then I was posting an average of twice a week. Here’s an excerpt from the Wayback Machine:

The artwork in the right column, a portrait of sorts, is by the extraordinary Max Estes, who went from teaching illustration in Milwaukee and frequenting the same coffee shop as me, to creating Norwegian children’s books …

… and making lovely prints such as this one:

Finally hung this framed print by @max_estes #RideOn

A post shared by Jeff Larche (@jefflarche) on

Thanks, Web Wayback, for the fond memories — including a caricature of me that still makes me laugh.

Confessions of a Hamilton Fanboy

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I was skeptical. The hype surrounding Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Broadway sensation seemed too good to be believed. But once I bought the original cast recording, I was convinced.

And hopelessly obsessed.

This Friday I saw the Chicago production of Hamilton for the second time, and unlike most other entertainments, this one was even better the second time.

So now I’ve predictably been back to bingeing on that original cast recording — specifically, my favorite exercise playlist. You see, I’m embarrassed to say, I’ve probably run several hundred miles over the last couple of years to this: Only the fast-paced cuts on the album.

I Call This Playlist “Hamercise”

Selecting the songs wouldn’t be tough for you to do on your own, but why bother? Here you go. If this helps you get fired up for a good workout, it’s my pleasure.

Enjoy.

Oh, and if you’ve reviewed my playlist, you may wonder: Why did I include the very last song, which is decidedly not fast-paced? In fact, its terribly moving and sad.

Well, after a good cardio workout, it’s a well-known fact that shedding a few tears helps complete the healthy draining of toxins that perspiration only partially accomplishes. #JustMadeThatUp #TotalRubbish

Enjoy.

FedEx won’t give me my new phone

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Dear FedEx: I’ve given you folks many opportunities this week to delight me, or at least not infuriate me. You blew every one of them.

And Dear FedEx customer (who is reading this now): Is what I am about to recount typical for this company? Please leave your comments below or on my Facebook profile. Here is the story:

I was expecting to have my new cell phone delivered on Tuesday, but I couldn’t get home in time from work. Instead, I got a tag saying that it was the first of three attempts. But since I received a phone call from FedEx, I assumed I would get another such call when the delivery person was downstairs. I live in a Chicago apartment building with a locked lobby and absolutely no way to reach tenants other than voice: Either an intercom call, which rings my phone, or use of the phone number that FedEx insists be included for delivery — the phone I have been reached at by FedEx on Tuesday.

I worked from home all day Wednesday, and wondered when I would receive the call to go downstairs. After all, FedEx delivery people must know this is the only way to complete the task they have been given. Basically, the only task they are expected to do … successfully deliver packages to people, including the hundred-plus people in my apartment building.

Having skipped several errands in my neighborhood during the day that could have prevented me from receiving my phone on Attempt #2, I finally, at 4 PM, went downstairs. What greeted me was another door tag. Another delivery “attempt” had been made. I’m not sure what the FedEx person expected of this apartment dweller. I don’t live on Sesame Street, where everyone seems to be outside on their apartment stoop every daylight hour. I was only reachable by phone.

I went to the FedEx website that night, struggling to find a way to get a message through to the folks who deliver packages: Call me when you are outside my building. You want my signature. I want your package. We can work this out.

After spending several minutes looking for a mechanism to get this message across, a guardian angel descended from FedEx heaven. His name was James Carlo M, and he appeared in a chat window: “May I help you?”

Hell yes you can, James Carlo M.

Here’s the [edited for brevity] transcript:

Chat Reference Number : 00663479

Chat Started: Wednesday, September 09, 2015, 17:10:55 (-0500)Chat Origin: US Trk Dex 8Agent James Carlo M( 2s ) James Carlo M: Hello Jeff ,thank you for visiting FedEx.com I am James Carlo and will help you today.
( 10s ) James Carlo M: Hello I have received your concern.I’m on it now.One moment.
( 2m 47s ) James Carlo M: Would it be okay with you if you pick this up today at Fedex facility?
( 2m 58s ) Jeff: no, I can’t get there
( 3m 8s ) Jeff: I need to arrange for it to be delivered here tomorrow
( 3m 25s ) Jeff: If the door is locked (it’s an apt.) I can come down if called
( 3m 30s ) James Carlo M: Sure. I will request for that. May you verify your address please?
( 3m 42s ) Jeff: [Address Provided]
( 3m 55s ) Jeff: Ask the Fedex person to call my cell
( 3m 59s ) Jeff: [Cell Number Provided]
( 4m 5s ) Jeff: I will come down and sign for it
( 4m 12s ) Jeff: I received no call on Tuesday
( 5m 16s ) James Carlo M: Thank you for waiting Jeff . I have already notified the facility that you want your package be redelivered tomorrow. Here is your case number 0909557158. Kindly wait for a call within 2 hours to confirm.
( 5m 30s ) Jeff: Will do. Thanks!

I did receive a confirmation call that another attempt would be made the next day. I again stayed home, working from there, and waiting. And waiting.

When I went down and saw the tag that said this was the last attempt, I was furious. I guess I still am. I called FedEx, explaining the time I have devoted to getting the package, and the efforts I have made to make this delivery a success.

I also explained that picking up my phone from the facility was not an option. She said I would get a call back. I never did.

Finally, this morning, I filled out a Customer Service form on the FedEx website explaining everything as I have here. That was six hours ago. I provided both my phone number and my email address. I have not even received an acknowledgement of receipt of that email. Zilch.

So again I ask you: Is FedEx so oblivious to the needs of apartment dwellers that they will issue door tags whenever people expecting a package they have don’t instantly appear, genie-like, at the locked lobby door, summoned forth by some psychic premonition? Does FedEx truly expect me to know exactly when I am needed by their driver, just as Mr. James Carlo M knew when I needed him?

Let me know.

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